A Real Christian in a Real World

Approximately three years ago, I hunted down a few websites to figure out where I should begin my first blog. After some research, I began my journalistic adventures on Google’s blogspot with an entry based on a true story in my life. However, because of school, homework, and life in general, I shut this blog down before it ever officially began.

Thankfully, though, my heart never gave up on this idea. Ever since my initial desire to establish a name for myself in the blogosphere, this same passion to write for the people of the internet has always remained.

That’s why, last summer, I created this new blog with the intent to make more content not only pleasing to the eye but as a source of experience and knowledge I’ve gained from my life.

Naturally, most of my experience and knowledge is attributed to God. 

Because of this reason, I decided my focus should be on what challenges and lessons God has used to teach me throughout my life.

However, while the idea was good in theory, it was fairly difficult. I was challenging myself too much to produce content that my readers could learn from.

Last week, I wanted to write a blog on the trials of faith. I poured out 434 words of what was on my heart when it came to this topic. While I read it over, though, it didn’t make much sense. I was trying too hard to turn it into a lesson, and it skewed the subject to an overbearing level of illegible nonsense.

If I learned one lesson from this failed endeavor, it would have to be summed up in this short, four-word sentence: I’m not a pastor.

God didn’t give me the gifting of a pastor and advice lender, as much as I may try to be. However, while I don’t have those strengths, I know that He has given me others.

Instead of trying too hard to be what God hasn’t called me to be, I should use those strengths that He has given me. In that case, I should sing, show compassion to my friends and family, and write. This setback will not drive me away from the fact that God has called me to speak to my readers. But I’m not going to do it by trying to be someone else.

I’m going to be me.

I’m going to document my life as it is, as a real Christian in a real world.

With this new goal in mind, I wish to deliver content every week about my life. From now on, you’ll get to witness the ups and downs and what goes on in my mind throughout the week. Sometimes, God will reveal something special to me. Other times, I might be in the midst of a trial and lose sight of what God’s doing in my life. Most likely, though, my blogs may fail to deliver intriguing or entertaining content week by week.

But that’s the life of a real college-aged, career-driven, and confused Christian.

Welcome to the summer of 2016 and welcome to the rest of life.

Shifting The Focus

One thing I most look forward to and daydream about is the future. I love thinking about who I could potentially be, what my family life might be like, and how I am going to design the interior of my first house. Almost everyday, I get lost in the idea of whatever bright future I might believe God has paved for me. The future does not give me a sense of fear but more of hope, one that I can daydream about and aspire towards.

While I find no problem in making plans and setting goals for the course of this future I daydream about, in recent years, I have begun to see the error of my ways.

Let me be honest, it is easy to get caught up in this perfect world I designed for myself, where I get the job I am perfectly fit for, settle into a beautiful suburbian home I designed myself, and live peacefully with my family. But the problem occurs when the future starts to become more tantalizing than the present. I start to lose myself in desires and lack presence of what is my reality: now.

How can I enjoy what God has given me now if I am always stuck thinking about the future? God has given me a home, a family, a plethora of close relationships, and several opportunies to grow and challenge myself, and they are all happening now.

I have had to remind myself many times in this past week alone: "Enjoy this very moment, because God has given it to you."

While rafting in the waters of the Middle Fork of the American River, I caught myself getting lost in the thoughts of my upcoming future. Once I was able to acknowledge my slip up, my tune changed from melancholy to ecstatic. Not only was I surrounded by God's beautiful creation, as seen in the evergrowing trees and greenery surrounding us, but a few of my loved ones and I had conquered class four rapids together!

And since then, thoughts of the future crept into my mind. I meditated on what kind of mother I would be whenever I took control of watching my nine year old niece. I allowed my focus to shift on upcoming dorm preparations instead of enjoying dinner with my family. I let a wave of sadness overwhelm me when I thought of spending two weeks apart from my boyfriend when he was right by my side.

It dawns on me that this has always been a challenge in my life. When I was a little girl, I looked forward to my high school days. When I was in high school, I could not wait to experience college. And now that I am a college student, I desire to start my post-education life and focus on my future career.

Seeing as there is always a future to come, no matter what point in my life I may be, there will always be this challenge. However, not only do I have a God who has paved a path for me but One who has also given me moments to live in now.

This day is His. Every day is His. And every day to come is His.

I should live by this truth and His promise.