Friday, August 14, 2015

Shifting The Focus

One thing I most look forward to and daydream about is the future. I love thinking about who I could potentially be, what my family life might be like, and how I am going to design the interior of my first house. Almost everyday, I get lost in the idea of whatever bright future I might believe God has paved for me. The future does not give me a sense of fear but more of hope, one that I can daydream about and aspire towards.

While I find no problem in making plans and setting goals for the course of this future I daydream about, in recent years, I have begun to see the error of my ways.

Let me be honest, it is easy to get caught up in this perfect world I designed for myself, where I get the job I am perfectly fit for, settle into a beautiful suburbian home I designed myself, and live peacefully with my family. But the problem occurs when the future starts to become more tantalizing than the present. I start to lose myself in desires and lack presence of what is my reality: now.

How can I enjoy what God has given me now if I am always stuck thinking about the future? God has given me a home, a family, a plethora of close relationships, and several opportunies to grow and challenge myself, and they are all happening now.

I have had to remind myself many times in this past week alone: "Enjoy this very moment, because God has given it to you."

While rafting in the waters of the Middle Fork of the American River, I caught myself getting lost in the thoughts of my upcoming future. Once I was able to acknowledge my slip up, my tune changed from melancholy to ecstatic. Not only was I surrounded by God's beautiful creation, as seen in the evergrowing trees and greenery surrounding us, but a few of my loved ones and I had conquered class four rapids together!

And since then, thoughts of the future crept into my mind. I meditated on what kind of mother I would be whenever I took control of watching my nine year old niece. I allowed my focus to shift on upcoming dorm preparations instead of enjoying dinner with my family. I let a wave of sadness overwhelm me when I thought of spending two weeks apart from my boyfriend when he was right by my side.

It dawns on me that this has always been a challenge in my life. When I was a little girl, I looked forward to my high school days. When I was in high school, I could not wait to experience college. And now that I am a college student, I desire to start my post-education life and focus on my future career.

Seeing as there is always a future to come, no matter what point in my life I may be, there will always be this challenge. However, not only do I have a God who has paved a path for me but One who has also given me moments to live in now.

This day is His. Every day is His. And every day to come is His.

I should live by this truth and His promise.

Friday, July 31, 2015

Intrapersonal

The year of 2015, surprisingly, is more than half way over. As the July heat continues to blaze into August, I am beginning to reflect on the impact this year has already had on me. Many things have changed in my life; my living situation, my relationship status, and my mode of transportation are a few of those.

This year, opposed to any of my last twenty-one years, has impacted me the most. I have grown and have begun to understand not only what I value most, but why I stand by these decisions. 

This is where this blog's title comes into play: intrapersonal. 

Last semester, I had a bit of soul-searching I needed to do. I came into Vanguard University as a Communications major, but I needed to find my niche, whether it be interpersonal studies or journalism. Admist the decision I would base my career off of, I sought guidance through the career counselor at school. 

From there, I was advised to take a few personality quizzes that would help shape my focus. For the most part, they taught me what I already knew, yet there was one quiz in particular that helped me discover another side to myself through Howard Gardner's Multiple Intelligences. (http://www.tecweb.org/styles/gardner.html)

In brief, Gardner classified seven different types of intelligences that broadened one's view of their IQ, the seven being visual, kinesetic, musical, interpersonal, linguistic, logical, and, finally, intrapersonal. 

To no surprise on my part, the musical and linguistic intelligences were at the top of my list. However, I didn't expect intrapersonal to be my dominant intelligence. This tells me that I, Amy Myres, am a self aware person. I am not only conscious of things that are most important to me but why they are.

I found myself in the ironic situation in my own self-discovery of already knowing myself. It sounds silly, but things began to become clear to me. I already knew who I was, but until now, I never thought there was a deeper, more hidden side to me I had yet to uncover. All my desires and goals, layered together, are only waiting to reveal themselves and slowly have been. 

The reasoning behind my slow process to self-discovery is due mainly to the fact that God has been working on me. Even last year, He turned my progression of becoming more vulnerable into a Communications major, just as I began looking into transferring to an university. These past seven months, as well, with all of the changes that have occurred, established to me that God is revealing things in His perfect timing. 

I may not still know everything about myself, but it was clarified by God that I already knew more about myself than I had previously imagined. Step by step, I am beginning to see and unravel different sides of myself, whether it is why I enjoy dancing freely or why I stand behind my decision on counting on God. 

The reason I wanted to start my blog with an entry about my self-discovery is because I want to be open with my readers. I want them to know that I am a human, and although nonbelievers tend to believe Christians view themselves as a hierarchy, I want to admit that I am still on the path of finding myself. I will make mistakes; I might even stray off the path. But what is most important is that I trust God. 

This blog will be about my life, as a college student at a Christian University that seeks a career in journalism, has a seemingly unhealthy obsession with the Anaheim Ducks, sings carelessly, writes passionately, and cares deeply for her family and friends. Most importantly, though, this blog will be about God's will for my life and a self-progession focused on loving Him deeper. I will never be perfect, but I know one thing is for sure; my God is.


(If you wish to discover what your dominant intelligence is, feel free to take the test at 
http://www.literacynet.org/mi/assessment/findyourstrengths.html and share what your result is.)